


The Week Before Christmas

by BlueBirdys



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Christmas, Comedy, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28310067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBirdys/pseuds/BlueBirdys
Summary: Blot has not 'celebrated' the holiday in about 200 years. Pepper wants to change that.
Relationships: Phantom Blot & Pepper
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	The Week Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CosmicTanzanite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicTanzanite/gifts).



> This is a gift story for one of my dearest friends in the world, CosmicTanzanite. He singlehandedly has gotten me to fall in love with both of these characters, and a found family dynamic for them, and I had absolute fun writing this. 
> 
> Happy holidays everyone!

Sugar, pine, and aromatic cheerfulness assailed Phantom Blot’s nostrils in a similar way to smelling salts, waking him abruptly. He was then rudely greeted by the grating sound of Christmas carols over his radio which had hardly been used for the last fifty years. But before he could award himself the privilege to vomit in response or sledgehammer the thing, he had to at least see what had occurred. 

Yanking his mask over his head, and stomping out of his bedroom, nearly tripping over his pitch black Victorian nightgown, he was met with the smiling face of his work partner, decked in the most hideously colorful garments he’d ever seen, stringing lights over one of the pillars of his remote cabin that hadn’t already been horrifically decorated. 

She was perched precariously on the top of a step ladder, trying to reach the top of the pillar with the strand of lights. And then before he addressed that piece of work, he was stuck looking at what damage had already been done, with paper snowflakes taped to the window, fake cotton snow lining the interior window sills, little wooden elf and snowman knick-knacks on the shelves, tiny holiday house maquettes on tabletops, and way too much pine foliage everywhere. And the amount of colored lights wrapped around his lovely collection of medieval torture devices was, in a word, offensive.

“What in the-”

“Oh!” Pepper grinned, waving from the top of the stepladder. “Hi Mr. Blot, could you be a dear and hand me that hammer on the ground?”

“How did you get in my cabin?!”

“I used the key under the mat!” Pepper reached down for the hammer, not particularly aware that her hard work of wrapped lights around the pillars was unwinding without a nail fixturing it. 

“What is all of this...Yuletide eyesore?” Blot snarled. “It’s hurting my eyes!”

“Eyesore?” Pepper laughed, hopping down from the stepladder. “Now, don’t you tell me you’ve never decorated your house for Christmas!”

“I won’t then.”

The duck gave a dramatic gasp, the red and white fake antlers in her hair bobbing with her motion. “That’s just unheard of Mr. Blot! You live in the piney-est of woods, get the most beautiful snowfalls, have the perfect specimens for Christmas trees, and you never decorate here? Oh,” she paused, “Speaking of that last thing-”

She opened the front door of his cabin, where a large felled tree blocked the entrance. “I’m gonna need help getting this inside. Chopping it was easy. Pulling it here, not so much,” she laughed, snorting a bit.

Blot could feel a migraine coming at the speed of a freight train, and rubbed his temples. “I want you,” he growled with a glare, “to take all of this down, and get rid of this tree-”

“Gonna need your help with that.”

“-and absolutely never speak of this again.”

“But Mr. Blottt.” Pepper began, trying to circle around him to get his attention. “We’ve only got a week until Christmas, and I know you’re not a complete Grumpy Gussy under there. Come on, get in the spirit a little!”

“Christmas is a holiday that involves family, and I no longer have one. Therefore I see no real point in celebrating it beyond my normal traditions of mass, and sleeping in on my day off.”

“Well hey! You don’t need family to have fun! And you’ve got me!”, Pepper grinned.

Blot did not answer her, instead making an effort to undo some of the festive damage she inflicted on his dwelling, yanking down boughs of holly.

“Mr. Blot, please-” Pepper cut in, “-if you just let me introduce you to all my holiday traditions, I’ll leave you alone on Christmas, how does that sound?”

He froze mid-tear of a paper snowflake. “Promise?”

“I cross my heart, you have my word.”

“...Burn the tree outside, and I’ll consider it!”

The delightful squeal Pepper gave as she ran outside admittedly did place something unidentifiable in Blot’s heart as he continued tearing down the more garish work of hers.

After a few minutes, the unusual smell of Christmas was replaced by the more familiar smell of gas, and he had to run outside. “TAKE THE TREE OFF MY PORCH FIRST!”

“Whoopsy doodles!”

* * *

“Now don’t you just look as cute as a button?”

“I am one more word away from firing you and erasing your existence.”

“Now does that sound like a very Santa-y thing to say?”

“No which is why you should absolutely remedy this mistake you’ve made as quickly and violently as possible.”

Pepper’s eager smile didn’t shrink in the slightest as she adjusted the fake beard she’d more or less ‘volunteered’ onto Blot. The costume itself definitely matched with her own outfit, but Blot’s expression was going to put a damper on things if he didn’t cheer up.

“Now will you give something of a smile? Pleeeease?”

“Father Christmas is a travesty of magic, and I refuse to even humor the existence of such magic. Why would you subject me to this torture?”

“Mr. Blot, I do this  _ every _ year. I volunteered you to this position for a reason, and it’s because I knew you would be great at this like you are as the Funso’s mascot!” She adjusted her elf ears, and motioned for him to step out from behind the curtain, and onto the facade of the North Pole that was set up in the mall.

“I refuse to look you in the eye again.” Blot hissed at her as he stepped out, and looked out over the sea of excited children, and their less excited parents, all lined up in wait for him.

“Okay kids!” Pepper cheered. “Who’s ready to tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas?!”

The shrill cheers that flooded Blot’s ears made him want to stab himself with the plastic candy canes flanking his chair, and end this Holly Jolly Hell, but he knew Pepper would haunt him forever, so he gritted his teeth and beared it. 

_ This is just like Funso’s. Just like Funso’s. Just. Like. Funso’s. _

The first child began to approach, and Pepper whispered to Blot with encouragement. “Remember. Like we practiced.”

“Ahm…,” Blot began, stilted and growly. “What...do you desire for Christmas...small...child?”

The child seemed more interested in looking over Blot’s costume, and silently questioning why he would be wearing a beard over a black cloth mask.

“Are you really Santa Claus?”

“No.”

Pepper motioned frantically for him to correct it, and Blot awkwardly improvised. “I mean. Just kidding. Yes. Ha ha. I mean...Ho ho.”

“You don’t look like Santa. Santa’s fat.” The kid informed him.

_ Remember Blot, way too many witnesses. Don’t do it. _

“Santa’s on a diet.” Pepper told the child sweetly. “Do you have any toys you want for Christmas?”

“Power Rangers.”

“Great!” Pepper quickly ushered the small boy away. “Merry Christmas!” She mouthed for Blot to relax as she led along the next child.

“I just want a dolly and for my dad to have a new job at New Years.”

Okay, this kid was sweet. Blot mustered up as much gentleness in his horrifying voice as he could. 

“I will...see what I can do.”

“Thank you Santa!” The little girl skipped off, and Blot relaxed in the chair a bit, relishing Pepper’s thumbs up. Okay, this might not be as hard as he thought.

And then the next boy came up, and Blot loomed over him in an attempt to be welcoming.

“What do you desire for the holiday, small child?”

The kid froze, eyes locked on Blot’s. He lost the ability to speak, the words fearfully caught in his windpipe.”

“....H...Hot wheels.”

Of course! Toy cars! Such an easy present.

“ **_IT SHALL HAPPEN.”_ ** Blot vowed eagerly.

And then suddenly the boy was running wildly off his lap and to his mother, sobbing in fear. Blot looked up at Pepper in hopes for help, and she whispered softly, “Dial it back a teensey bit.”   


The next several children were stiff with fear and all Blot could do was awkwardly pat their heads and send them on their way. 

Blot was about to comment to Pepper that this was actually getting a little easier when another little boy plopped on his lap, and asked, ever so cheerfully, for a magician’s set.

And then everything went red, and when Blot came to, the kid was hiding behind his parents, hysterical, and the rest of the line of children was running amok in terror while Pepper tried, in vain, to keep them all calm.

Scrooge McDuck’s chief scientist, Dr. Gearloose, and some little blue eyed boy he was accompanying stood calmly in what remained of the line, the chicken grinning smugly, “This is the best Santa ever.”

Blot looked to Pepper, silently asking what had happened in his rage blackout, and she hid her face, muttering something about them taking an early lunch break.

* * *

“So...a restraining order from the only mall in Duckburg isn’t great, but hey, who needs store bought gifts when you can make things!” Pepper tried to cheer up Blot the following morning with the smell of freshly baked gingerbread in his kitchen, in spite of his perpetually sour look.

“I don’t eat sweets.” Blot had reminded her. “The most I can tolerate is mincemeat pie.”

“Well you don’t have to eat this. You make gingerbread houses for decoration! By the time the holiday is over, they’re usually too stale.” She was carefully cutting out the proper shapes for building, and setting them aside as she grabbed multicolored tubes of icing and bags of candies.

“Why not just make them with non-edible items such as wood and glue?” Blot questioned, finding this whole thing impractical and a waste of baking ingredients.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Pepper laughed, adjusting her sweater that was appropriately decorated with little smiling gingerbread men. Blot made a note to ask her if she had a different sweater for every damned day of the month of December.

“I think I’ll pass. Your example photos of these confectionary houses do not seem at all rewarding to make.”

“Well, you don’t have to make it a house! You can make whatever you want! A castle! A tree! A tiny Notre Dame of cookies!”

Blot thought deeply. “Well. I may have an idea.”

“Good!” Pepper immediately got to work on her own house, wanting it to look as fancy and sweet as possible, using gumdrops for the top of the roof, chiclets for the shingles, peppermints for the siding, and as much gummy fruits and rings for the foliage and wreaths. She even used lollipop shards to make windows, and tied it all together with carefully applied lines of icing.

When she showed it off to Blot, he gave a thoughtful nod. “It’s...elaborate.”

“Thank you!” She grinned proudly, then looked over the edge of the table to look at his work, “What did you make?”

Blot presented a messy pile of broken cookie pieces and shattered candy, “It’s my village after Magica destroyed it.”

“Oh.” Pepper tried to smile encouragingly as she looked closer, “It’s...very colorful. Oh...I didn’t see the broken gingerbread men under there.”

“Do you like my use of the icing? I wanted to be accurate.”

Pepper didn’t want to look too disturbed by the amount of red frosting pooled around his creation, and gave a tight grin, “I...love it?”

“I appreciate it.”

Pepper took note not to ask Blot to make gingerbread houses next year.

* * *

“Blot! That was my only TV!” Pepper had gone to replace the batteries in her light up reindeer sweater for less than a minute, and she came back to the disturbing lack of Christmas specials on account that her TV was now smoldering fiberglass and wires.

“That was no television!” Blot insisted as he stood over the wreckage in Pepper’s living room, clutching his gauntlet. “That  _ devil box _ began showing small felted dolls moving!! That’s unnatural! I saved your house from evil!”

“Wh-”, Pepper sputtered, “That was Rudolph & Frosty!”

Blot gasped in horror. “Are they related to Lucifer?!”

The duck stared at him for a long time in absolute silence, then she quietly walked into the kitchen and poured herself a large helping of eggnog and Tylenol for her headache. 

After some emergency online shopping, Pepper was relaxed in her kitchen with two steaming mugs of hot beverage. Hers was decked in whip cream and sprinkles, Blot’s was hot water. He’d taken plenty of time to at least admire how much garish holiday decor she’d put on her otherwise bare walls.

“Okay, well, I won’t have a TV until Christmas Eve.” Pepper mused over her mug. “How about you let me partake in your Christmas traditions?”

“I think not.”

“Aw come on why not?”

“They’re...not in the same realm as yours, Pepper. I don’t think you’d enjoy them as much as you do your own.”

“Well hey now, I’m an open minded gal,” she crossed her arms with a smirk, “I’d love to get a taste of Blotmas.”

“Don’t call it that.” Blot growled into his cup softly and sighed. “I suppose if you are that determined...Just know you were warned.”

“Ooh boy this is gonna be so much fun!”

“I also would not wear this sweater if I were you.”

“Got it. Not  _ this _ sweater.”

* * *

So maybe, just maybe, Blot had been hinting to Pepper that she should have dressed more conservatively for his sort of Christmas. Because now she realized she was absolutely sticking out like the sorest of thumbs, wedged between her coworker and another stoic tall figure dressed in black, and flanked by at least five rows of pews of the same thing, all while she was dressed in a bright green sweater with glow in the dark Santa Claus’ on it. 

She always sort of figured Phantom Blot was a church-going guy, but while most churches were decorated beautifully for the holiday, this one felt more like a place vampires flocked to, with stone gargoyles and the whole place was nearly pitch black when the sky grew dark. And what language was everyone chanting in? Hobbit?

After a homily that was more shouted than spoken, and some odd rituals involving bones and wine, Pepper breathed a soft sigh of relief when it all appeared to be over, and glanced to Blot in hopes for commentary.

And then suddenly they all had torches and that's where everything got weird, and she had no questions once it was all over, except that if she and Blot could go to a diner. She was starving.

“So. That’s it for your holiday traditions?”

“That’s it.”

Pepper swirled her spoon in her soup. “So what do you do on the actual holiday?”

“Sleep in, and as usual...keep to myself.”

“Huh.” She didn’t seem that surprised. “Well...what do you do on Christmas Eve?”

“Nothing.”

“For real?”

“Well, I do my washing and food shopping but that’s about it.”

“That’s kind of depressing, Mr. Blot.”

“Do I look like a non-depressing person, Pepper?”

“Well...no.”

“And there you have it.” He gave a single nod, then motioned to the waiter who just filled his mug of hot water. “Tea bag please.”

“Ooh, now we’re getting adventurous aren’t we?” Pepper teased. “Maybe add some sugar to that?”

“Absolutely not.”

* * *

“I thought you were going to leave me alone after yesterday.”

“Today is Christmas Eve, so nope.” Pepper grinned as she shoved a whole stack of variously sized boxes in the Blot’s arms, jingling with every step she made thanks to the bells on her sweater.

“What-” Blot almost laughed as he balanced the individually wrapped boxes. Almost. “What even is all of this?”

“Well this bottom one is a yule log cake. I don’t know how long you’ve been alive, but I feel like you must have seen them get invented!” She pointed to the next box. “This one is the Santa suit from the mall, I’m giving it to you for safe keeping. The third one is the bill you owe me for my TV, wrapped up in a box to make it look nicer. And this one,” she pointed, “you can’t open until tomorrow. Official Christmas rules.”

He gave a flat hum, and put the boxes on his end table. “So was that all you visited for? To give me presents?”

“Well...yeah!”, she smiled, “I said I’d leave you alone tomorrow, so I’m getting all my present deliveries out of the way today.”

“Well I’ll leave you to it then.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Laundry. It’s quite therapeutic.”

Pepper looked behind him to see the basket full of pitch black cloth, and gave a hopeful smile. “Any help needed with that?”

“Not at all.”

“Alright...well...wait, are you listening to Christmas music?”

“Oh. This?” Blot looked over his shoulder with a distasteful glare to his outdated radio. “I had left it on because they had some relatively calming choir music playing, and now I can’t seem to turn it off.”

Pepper tried to hide her knowing smile. “Do you want me to try?”

“Don’t bother,” Blot waved off. “The batteries in it should die off within a few hours.”

He got frustrated when he saw her knowing smile grow even wider, and waved her off, “Well I don’t want to put you off any of your own festivities. See you on the 27th for work.”

“Oh, I really don’t-” Pepper paused, then gave a tiny wave. “Alright. Well. Happy holidays Mr. Blot. I hope you like your present.”

As soon as she had left, Blot regretted not having something to give her back. Granted, he could probably give her jumper cables or an orange from the fridge and she’d cherish them. That would be a good idea for New Years. But he promptly forgot the idea as his thoughts got lost in getting his cloaks clean before the winter chill iced them over outdoors, and watching the sky grow dark.

* * *

Blot’s present to himself was sleeping until almost noon on Christmas Day. Then a late brunch of blood sausage and a hard boiled egg. 

It was only after he’d finished washing the dishes that he remembered Pepper’s stack of boxes. The poor yule log cake was in dire need of refrigeration, and the Santa suit was promptly tucked between logs on the fire, but Blot put very little care into tearing open the box marked “To: Phantom Blot, From: Pepper. Do not Open Until Christmas.”

When Blot pulled out the scarf laid inside, it only took a second for him to realize it was handmade, with a few dropped stitches here and there, and tiny holes spotting the middlemost parts of it. And the black, orange, and green stripes were a little too bright for his tastes...but something made it so he didn’t mind much.

Maybe because it was the first handmade present, no, the first actual present he’d received since…

Blot decided he’d have to be quick to respond to Pepper with a gift of his own, it was the polite thing to do. It would have to wait until the 27th though. He certainly didn’t want to bother Pepper or-

Who was Pepper even spending the holiday with? Surely her own relatives. 

He tried to think of any that she may have named, or that he saw photographed, but remembered the lack of any actual portraits in her admittedly very small apartment.

And then he remembered what she said back when she nearly burned his house down.  _ You don’t need family to have fun at Christmas. _

And yesterday...her getting all her present deliveries out of the way. But leaving his house with empty arms. 

And suddenly this whole week of insanity made absolute sense. 

And it seemed completely unfair.

Blot made no hesitation in getting out all of his old smithing tools, his trade before the days of stealing magic. He had work to do.

* * *

Pepper answered the door, genuinely surprised at the prospect her dinner delivery order was arriving ten minutes after she put it in, but had to do a once over at the large figure looming in her doorway.

“What are you doing here?”, she asked.

“Why aren’t you wearing one of your eyesores of clothing?”, Blot glowered down at her, and her plain mustard yellow cardigan. 

“I wasn’t really planning on company today,” she admitted with a tired smile, brushing her mop of red curls out of her eyes, and she brightened up more upon seeing the touch of color to his normal wardrobe. “You’re wearing your present!”

“Yes. Well,” Blot coughed as he adjusted the scarf and handed her a paper bag tied at the top with a ribbon. “I forgot to give you your present the other day, and decided it was only appropriate to deliver it in person, on the holiday. Belated gifts are bad form, and whatnot.” 

Pepper wouldn’t stop looking at him, so he glared. “Well? Aren’t you going to open it?”

She undid the carefully tied bow, and reached into the bag. She gasped as she pulled out a small metal lantern with intricate shapes stenciled into the metal, leaving various patterned holes. “This is beautiful! Where did you-”

“I just had some scrap metal lying around, it’s really nothing special I-” Blot’s excuses were cut off with a tight hug from the woman who had her face buried against his cloak.

“I love it. Thank you.” She grinned from ear to ear.

“Well.” he coughed, then muttered something inaudible.

“What?”

“...Merry...Christmas.” He mumbled between growls.

Pepper’s grin was clear enough of a response as she set the lantern aside, and left her door open, “I’m just waiting on some Chinese food, and watching the Birdish Holiday Bake-off. Want to come in?”

“Do I have to?”

“Unless you want me coming by your house tomorrow with leftover cabbage rolls, then yes.”

Blot had to look behind himself and glare at anyone possibly watching before he stepped inside.

Maybe he could look forward to the next Christmas after all.


End file.
